Star Trek Aliens Coloring Book

On a lighter note this time, I'm featuring some select pages from a coloring book that features (mostly) the Star Trek aliens. This was published in 1986, and, although the interior artwork by Paul Abrams is passable, with decent facial features, the artist clearly was not familiar with Trek lore or designs, and was only working from a few isolated photos; much like the artist on the Gold Key comics in the early days. But if they were working from reference photos, how do you account for the strange looking alien on the cover that is "supposed" to be a spying Klingon (who looks like Lorne Greene), but is sporting rounded bumps on either side of his head? Oh, well, it's just for kids, who's gonna notice? (Says the artist.) T'Lar seems a bit taken aback by it, though... either that, or she's totally checking out his butt.

(Click on images to enlarge.)

"Oh, Bill, I've found your hairpiece, do you mind not leaving it lying around?"

I know that if you have any vintage Star Trek coloring books you are not going to let your kids color in them. So, print out these pages and hand them out to the kids with your blessing!

Below, a nice group shot, based on the familiar publicity photo we all know and love. So far, so good...

But below the lack of familiarity with the show manifests itself as a purely imaginary picture of Spock's father and mother. But you have to admit, his mother really is a hottie! And with a dad that looks like a cocky and confident Vulcan Sean Connery, a Spock from this background would have probably been portrayed by a super-cool and swinging James Coburn (click here for my interpretation of how this would have played out; I've always thought Coburn would have made an excellent Vulcan). Coburn's super agent Flint had a similar nerve pinch, too. By the way, did you know that Spock's half-brother Sybok was originally supposed to be played by Sean Connery? Tru dat! Man, I got off on a tangent there...

"He always liked Sybok better than me. I think it's because of the beard."

He's blue, and worried, because he's missing an antenna. Since he's subtly pointing to his thigh, it's possible that he wants you to search his pants for it.

Mr. Chekov brandishing... something. A squirt gun? A futuristic stapler? One thing's for certain, it sure ain't no phaser. Pavel was getting into his new position in Security, so color his shirt red, for much blood, pain and screaming.

"Hey, Uhura! I think I've found a cure for PMS!"

"Please deposit 50 cents for one more minute, Doctor."

Rubber gloves donned, the crew braces for the mess they have to clean up from the captain's sick targ.

"Who took my burlap sack? I'm naked and it's freezing on this blasted ship! And would it kill ya to leave a little salt scattered around?"

"Yo inna heap o' trouble, bo-ah!"

Below, the cat may be giant, but why is the table leg also giant? It seems the artist thought that Kirk had been shrunk. Again, nitpicking on a kid's coloring book. I almost feel like a bully doing it.

"And hurry the **** up about it, you sotted Scot!"

Below, a couple more pages that feature Uhura, but the facial resemblance is not that great, neither is the body type accurate. She looks more like agent Lana Kane from the cartoon series "Archer." But that's okay, because she is made of total hotness also.

"I just love stroking Bill's hairpiece. Listen , it's purring!"

"I just know this planet is going to have some great stores for shopping!"